Sunday, September 28, 2008

Too Much Hard Work

Sigh, I just got back from the hospital.

I was halfway through a writing assignment when I started to feel feverish. I took basic meds like paracetamol and salbutamol to help ease my suffering. I know it's useless because I have already built a resistance to these kinds of meds. I don't want to take steroids again though.

It was evening and im trying to finish my assignment when i started to do the laundry, friday night. I finished the laundry at 3 am while chatting with Melai, a coffee addict from my web content writing stint. I slept at 330 am and woke up at 7 am when I was being undressed by daddy (my husband). "I'm taking you to the hospital, your temperature just increased to 41 degrees". I was surprised because it didn't feel like I slept at all. I got confined, irritated with the nurse coz all she does is bat her eyelashes at my daddy instead of properly insert the dextrose needle into my vein. It bled like crazy and I was on the verge of punching her on the face when she finally finished.

I just stayed at the hospital for a day but it exhausted me so much. I am not into the habit of lying around all day doing nothing. This is my 1st confinement after I gave birth which is also after I gave birth to my first baby, which was the first time I got hospitalized. Lol.

Anyway, back to writing it is...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Do You Gamble?

You may think the title is metaphorical. No it isn't. Literally speaking, do you gamble?

I do. But for the love of God, I don't use my own money, hahaha. Yes it is fun. Fun and scary as well. Fun because I get to go and try my luck with the money my mom or my dad handed over to see me just lose it all. Scary because I might get addicted (which in fact I am).

Anyway, let me describe my favorite hang-out. The name is Fiesta Casinos. It is a part of Thunderbird Resorts and I looovve it here. I would sound like I'm promoting this place but no.... well, I am, hahaha. This resort is situated in Binangonan beside Eastridge Golf Club. They have several deluxe and suite rooms. They only have one presidential suite though, it's difficult to book one. Veeerryy expensive. I get my rooms for free, the deluxe or the suite one. Deluxe is 40 sq.m. and has 2 queen beds, an 8 sq.m. bathroom with a hot tub, a personal fridge, 2 closets, a TV with dvd, and a dvd component. Same goes with the suite but it only has one King sized bed. All rooms have verandas and from there you could see great views of either the mountains or the Laguna de Bay.

The resort has an infiniti pool and jacuzzi out front. A cabana bar serving buffet and ala carte would definitely spice up your stay. A playground for the children, a spa, and free wi-fi access are also available.

A deluxe room costs Php4,500 per night for 2 pax. A suite room for Php6,000. Both are inclusive of free breakfast at the cabana or the Las Vegas Buffet inside the Casino.

You might be asking why I could get a room for free. I don't know too. But come to think of it, it might be because they need to compensate for the amount my parents have spent losing on their slot machines already. Speaking of which. Yeah I gamble, just on the slot machines though. Table games such as Baccarat, BlackJack, Poker and Roulette just ain't in the budget. Heck I could insert 2 Php10.00 coins and win a thousand. Hahaha. That was one time I caught glimpse of 2 pcs of coins on one empty slot machine. I took it and inserted it. I pressed ten lines times 1 peso bet and voila! The first roll gave me three hundred. Another press, nothing. I was deliberating on whether to collect it or risk it. I risked another 10 pesos. In that single press of the button, I got Php690.00 just exact for a whole Php1000.00 peso bill. I withdrew it and went outside to smoke while waiting for my parents to exhaust themselves. That's the idea...

For those who want a chance of a night's stay here, contact me and i'll hook you up.

Search for Contentment, Chapter 2

Oh well, sigh. As my storytelling goes, the impending truth awakens me. I have little hope left.

I mostly worked with call center companies. The only non-call center related job I had was with Dow Jones International. I worked as Quality Analyst on Revenue Marketing for the Asian Wall Street Journal. This job required me to work long hours but does not entirely compensate well compared to call center jobs. So after 3 months, I went back to being a "call girl".

6 years of working. Am I happy? I don't think so. I don't have an idea when this term could really mean anything to me. But I am trying.

I don't have a perfect marriage. My husband cheated on me more than twice already. I know I have faults too, but who doesn't? I had my fair share of flirting around as well, but hey, nothing serious. Right now, we are trying to mend things. Trying to start a whole new chapter and see if we really could go through life together. It is this time of our lives where we gauge our personalities, compatibilities and whether we could sacrifice our own happiness just to make amends to building a happy family.

Enough of the sad stories now...

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Search for Contentment

The title of this entry, in truth, describes how the life I am living right now shattered the hopes and dreams of people who feel that I don't deserve this.

This is my first post on this blog. Maybe I got inspired by the people I work with. People who have time to exert effort in this kind of self-realization. I envy them. As I read their posts, I knew for a fact that I am surrounded by smart, witty, and gut-filled individuals. They made me start to think about what really lies ahead. But for now, enough about them.

Let me introduce myself. I am Kristine. By the time of this post, I am on my way to turning 27. In the workplace, I feel really old. Old... meaning I have gone through a lot in my life. I have experienced situations that one may think as quite ordinary but there are matters beyond that you can never imagine.

I am married for 7 years now and I wouldn't tag it as anywhere near "Happily". Maybe a little of something in between. I did not marry intentionally but it is, in fact, by choice. Numerous hardships have hindered us from living a happy life including my husband's goal to prove my parents wrong. This is the cause why even though my family could easily breeze through life, living at the house I have grown to love and cherish, eating food minus the allergic reactions, sleeping with comfort in a cool fresh smelling room on a soft bed, taking hot showers without the burden of heating water on the stove, and having something to snack on when I suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, we don't. I hate him for having too much pride. I don't know why I put up with all this. Love, maybe.

Now I live in a small, one bedroom apartment. Not enough to accomodate a couple and two kids, we overcrowd the one king-sized bed we bought using the money we got on our wedding. I wonder why we didn't heed my dad's advice back then. He told us to buy a Toyota FX from the money gifts so that my husband can drive and earn a living with it. But then again, here comes the pride. He does not want to be an FX driver. Geez.

We are still in college when we got married. My side of the story tells you that I stopped studying to go to work and earn a living so my husband can finish his engineering course. So I did. When he graduated, I was already moving to the top of the professional ladder so I decided not to continue with school. I know. A very bad move.

Oh well... to be continued